The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance.
Psalm 16:6

Today is a celebration of good things - perhaps the end of a work week, the finishing of a project, Friday night plans with family and friends, and most importantly, those friendships that enrich our lives.

Every few Fridays I want to share with you some things I'm learning about friendship. Maybe you'll resonate with some of them. Maybe you can share some advice of your own as you respond with your comments.

The friendship thing has never been too easy for me. I tend to be too focused and high strung to just relax and let them develop naturally. Many times, I would meet a woman and plan out exactly how I would approach her and how I would say, "Let's hang out," without sounding too needy or too condescending. Then I would proceed to imagine how we would be forever friends and have every single thing in common and get together every week for the rest of our lives and our kids would be best friends, and our husbands would be best friends... And this was all in my head.

I'm at risk of sounding cynical here, so let me just say, I have talked to many people who have those easy friendships and do remain lifelong friends with their kindergarten classmate, and their husbands do hit it off, and they do hang out frequently. That is awesome! What a precious gift! I'm just saying for the rest of us who are a little more introverted, uptight or insecure, we may need some help loosening up, letting go and letting friendships happen in their natural course.

We all need all kinds of friends from different ages and stages and walks of life, and each friend has special value and enriches our lives in different ways.Today I want to celebrate God's kindness to me in giving me one specific kind of friend.

This friend is a young woman, just a year older than me. She went to the same college I did, and for a while we attended the same church. She was married less than a year after I was. We're both going through career/life transitions and big decisions, and neither of us have kids yet, but we both want to be mommies someday.

As my friend and I have connected over the last couple months, I've walked away feeling so blessed and refreshed, and just plain thankful that someone "gets it." And that's the thing: not everyone will "get it," because few people in my circle are going through such similar experiences in the same time frame.


She had me over for tea last Friday, and I took some pictures of our lovely teacups and healthy snacks (she and I are both conducting some health experiments right now, too). I love how they decorated their apartment, too! The bookshelf, complete with guitar and cowboy boots is so charming! It makes me think of a cross between the American west and a European countryside, although I've never been to Europe. I had such a wonderful time and left thanking God for this special and unique friendship.

Readers, if you long for this kind of friendship - for someone who is your age and in the same stage of life - pray. I had been praying for a long time for this before my friend and I reconnected earlier this year, and God granted my request! He loves friendship. He is the ultimate Friend, and He created human friendship so we can have a little taste of that sweet communion.

I encourage you to seek out these kinds of friends because we need them. You may feel lonely and hopeless right now. You may look around you and think, "Everyone but me has these connections already." But only the enemy of your soul wants you to be lonely. Your loving Friend does not want you to walk alone. He will provide as you wait on Him and seek His face.

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But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
1 Corinthians 6:17

With new life in Christ, we become united with the Lord.

What does that mean?

It means our desires change.

It means our actions become more Christ-like.

It means our very selves are conformed to His image.

We are one with the Lord in Spirit. We begin to want what He wants and live to glorify Him.

It does not mean our temptations are removed.

The greatest struggle of following Christ in this fallen world is that the lure of sin remains but our hearts can no longer yearn for and engage in those things that break God's heart without breaking our hearts as well. The longer we walk with the Lord, the more sensitive we become to the convicting voice of the Holy Spirit, the same voice that empowers us to choose the life-giving, selfless way of Christ.

I don't know about you, but if I'm honest with myself and God, I don't always want to be like Jesus. Sometimes, my flesh just wants to stick up for myself, to say what's on my mind, to take the best portion for myself, to demand attention and praise. I have been known to pray, "Lord, I don't want to do the right thing, so please give me the desire to do Your will."

And there it is, friends! That prayer is a "help, Lord." That prayer acknowledges that He is the Lord of my life and that He has the power to change me. I say this not to magnify myself in any way, but to demonstrate the very point I'm trying to make: that anything good, any transformation, any trace of new life or desire or prayer to request the desire to do what honors God - all that is His power in me and in you.

When we decide to follow Christ, the Holy Spirit begins that transforming work in our lives immediately. We can do a lot in our own power to fix ourselves up externally, but only Almighty God can truly make us new from the inside out. He deserves all the glory and praise for this new life. He deserves the fruit of His sacrifice on the cross - children of God who become more and more like Jesus Christ every day.

May you know the power that raised Christ from the dead and gives new life to you.

I don't pretend to have a wealth of wisdom after having been married for less than two years, but marriage is a life-long covenant, commitment and journey, so we have to start somewhere, right? I do know where a wealth of wisdom can be found, and I'd like to point you and myself right back to it: God's Word.

Maybe things are going swimmingly, maybe they're coasting, or maybe you're in a hard place in your marriage. May I encourage you with things that I've found encouraging over the last year and a half?

First Corithians 13. Love is patient. Love is kind. This does not mean love should be patient or love should be kind. It means love is these things. And if I'm not showing patience, kindness, forbearance, belief and hope in my relationship with my husband, I don't care how emotional and romantic I feel toward him, it's not love.

Let the records show that I have failed. Miserably. But since God has removed my sins and yours as far as the east is from the west (which is infinite, by the way), scratch out my failures and write in God's grace.

God loves marriage! You can think of the Trinity as absolutely perfect marriage. God created marriage because He wanted us to have the littlest glimpse of what that divine unity could be like. Awesome. The fall has marred us and marriage and all of creation (thanks, first husband and wife in history to screw up royally), but God's reputation is at stake in our marriages, so He's never going to leave us or forsake us, no matter how hard it gets. He's not just cheering us on from the sidelines, either. He's right down with us on the field, in the game, on the same team.

So here are a few tidbits I've gathered over the well, months:

• My husband is different from me. Very different. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, everything.
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• My husband and I are not enemies. Even those times when I seriously thought he was the worst person in the world and believed all the wrong stuff and hated me and our marriage, I found out later that he actually does care and did love me the whole time and does want to figure stuff out with me.
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• My husband has just as hard a time understanding my wants, needs and mental/emotional processes as I do his, if not harder.
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• My husband bears the image of God. He is a human being. With a soul.
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• My husband and I should be friends. This is not a business contract. It's okay to care about play and fun and adventures. God cares about the details. He cares about our rest and refreshment and enjoyment of Him and all His good gifts.
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• I will inevitably have times where I feel a bit lonely. My husband cannot fill every crevice of my soul. These are the times I learn to recognize Christ as the ultimate Lover of my soul.
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• Praying for myself and my husband should be a daily, hourly, minute by minute thing. Prayer should come before all major decisions and serious conversations. Prayer should guide whether I say something or remain silent and choose to watch God work without my help, which tends to work better, anyway. Surprise!

For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15

I had a dream a couple weeks ago. It wasn't quite a nightmare, but it had the urgency and confusion of one.

I was standing outside a house that had caught on fire. I ran inside to warn the 20 people sitting there that they needed to get out because the house was about to burn down. Nobody wanted to move. So I pushed and pulled and shoved them out of that burning house because I didn't want them to die.

Christ's love compels us. To do what?

Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others.
2 Corinthians 5:11

I have said some things to family or friends that have seemed crazy and perhaps offensive. Because of this, I'm often afraid of what people think of me and how what I've said will affect our relationship. But I know what it is to fear the Lord and have new life in Him, so I try to persuade them to follow Christ. Christ's love compels me.

There have been many times, though, when I've felt maybe I should say something, or have that conversation, or write that letter, and I don't. When that happens, the fear of man compels me to be silent.

If we really have new life and understand just how much God loves us and what Christ has done for us, we cannot be silent when the Holy Spirit prompts us to tell others about Him. Don't let the fear of man compel you. Abandon yourself to be driven by the love of Christ. Show the world what it means to have new life.

This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.
1 John 4:13-17

You want new life. We all do. Newness is something we crave. A do-over, fresh start, new identity. This God-given thirst has us reaching for self-help books and coaches and counselors and programs to help us achieve this new way of living.

But a God-given desire can only be satisfied by God Himself. And while tools and wise people are helpful on this journey, there is only one way to know whether we've achieved new life.

Only the Creator of life can create new life in you. Cry out to Jesus. He is Lord. He is Messiah, Savior, Life-giver.

If you do this, you will know for sure: I have new life! (If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 1 John 4:15)

The Holy Spirit helps us to understand that Jesus Christ is Lord, and it is the Holy Spirit who gives us assurance that we are children of God. Where would we be without His guidance and grace?

When you know you have new life in Christ, you can be confident that your eternal destiny is secure. Nothing can separate you from His love for you and in you.

New life in Christ gives you the ability to be like Christ, to love even when you're not loved in return. This is really the mark of a true Christian - that we lay down our lives for others, regardless of whether they deserve it, just like Jesus did.

None of us could do that on our own; our flesh is too weak. Only by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit and the glory of Christ's example can we live in love.

Live in your new life, friends. By God's grace, you can be like Christ even now. Walk in love. Listen to the convicting, encouraging, empowering voice of the Holy Spirit. And be like Jesus in this world so all can see that He truly is the Life.

You know how in films the protagonist runs into an old flame and tries to win their heart again? There's always some past hurt or reputation they need to repair before that can happen. A common line to hear them say is, "I am a different person now than I was back then."

After coming to Christ, we have a lot of explaining to do! Not one of us who believes in Him will ever be the same. Whether we feel like we've changed, we can say with confidence, "I'm not who I was."

The reason for this is because not only has Christ's life, death, and resurrection changed our future, it has redeemed our past and given us new life in the present.

We don't always live with the assurance of everything this new life means for us, however. We instead carry a burden of shame or doubt or uncertainty about who we are and what we should or should not be doing.

Today I want to remind you of just a few of the things Scripture lays out about our new life in Christ. After each of these statements, you could add, "Whether I feel like it or not."

• I am a child of God. John 1:12
• I'm no longer a slave to sin. Romans 6:6
• The old is gone. 2 Corinthians 5:17
• I can approach God with confidence. Hebrews 4:16
• I am a friend of God. James 2:23
• I no longer live for myself. Galatians 2:20

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
Romans 6:4

April is a month of new life. The first full month of spring offers beauty and hope.

That's why this month I want to focus on cultivating our new life in Christ.

This new life was given to us the moment we believed in Jesus Christ. And the Holy Spirit has been given to us as the gardener of our souls.

Yet we can cooperate with the watering, pruning and transplanting, or we can resist His work, and our growth can become stunted from lack of sunlight or choked by the dangerous weeds of sin entangling us.

Over the next few weeks, I want to offer hope and encouragement from the Word of God as we seek to grow into beautiful, strong, magnificent trees, pointing heavenward to our Creator and King.

Please check back on the blog weekly through the month of April for new posts!