Friendship Friday: Finding a friend at your age and stage

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance.
Psalm 16:6

Today is a celebration of good things - perhaps the end of a work week, the finishing of a project, Friday night plans with family and friends, and most importantly, those friendships that enrich our lives.

Every few Fridays I want to share with you some things I'm learning about friendship. Maybe you'll resonate with some of them. Maybe you can share some advice of your own as you respond with your comments.

The friendship thing has never been too easy for me. I tend to be too focused and high strung to just relax and let them develop naturally. Many times, I would meet a woman and plan out exactly how I would approach her and how I would say, "Let's hang out," without sounding too needy or too condescending. Then I would proceed to imagine how we would be forever friends and have every single thing in common and get together every week for the rest of our lives and our kids would be best friends, and our husbands would be best friends... And this was all in my head.

I'm at risk of sounding cynical here, so let me just say, I have talked to many people who have those easy friendships and do remain lifelong friends with their kindergarten classmate, and their husbands do hit it off, and they do hang out frequently. That is awesome! What a precious gift! I'm just saying for the rest of us who are a little more introverted, uptight or insecure, we may need some help loosening up, letting go and letting friendships happen in their natural course.

We all need all kinds of friends from different ages and stages and walks of life, and each friend has special value and enriches our lives in different ways.Today I want to celebrate God's kindness to me in giving me one specific kind of friend.

This friend is a young woman, just a year older than me. She went to the same college I did, and for a while we attended the same church. She was married less than a year after I was. We're both going through career/life transitions and big decisions, and neither of us have kids yet, but we both want to be mommies someday.

As my friend and I have connected over the last couple months, I've walked away feeling so blessed and refreshed, and just plain thankful that someone "gets it." And that's the thing: not everyone will "get it," because few people in my circle are going through such similar experiences in the same time frame.


She had me over for tea last Friday, and I took some pictures of our lovely teacups and healthy snacks (she and I are both conducting some health experiments right now, too). I love how they decorated their apartment, too! The bookshelf, complete with guitar and cowboy boots is so charming! It makes me think of a cross between the American west and a European countryside, although I've never been to Europe. I had such a wonderful time and left thanking God for this special and unique friendship.

Readers, if you long for this kind of friendship - for someone who is your age and in the same stage of life - pray. I had been praying for a long time for this before my friend and I reconnected earlier this year, and God granted my request! He loves friendship. He is the ultimate Friend, and He created human friendship so we can have a little taste of that sweet communion.

I encourage you to seek out these kinds of friends because we need them. You may feel lonely and hopeless right now. You may look around you and think, "Everyone but me has these connections already." But only the enemy of your soul wants you to be lonely. Your loving Friend does not want you to walk alone. He will provide as you wait on Him and seek His face.

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