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Dear Father,

I surrender jealousy
for You are fully satisfying.

I surrender worry
for You are all I need.

I surrender fear
for You are my Protector.

I surrender envy
for You are more than enough.

I surrender bitterness
for Your words are honey, salve to my soul.

I surrender control
for You are my strength.

I surrender anxiety
for You are beautiful, beyond description, my Prince of Peace.

I praise You, for You have done it!

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
John 14:27

I've been reading through the book of Ezekiel, and for the first time, I'm not struggling to stay awake. By the grace of God and the illumination of the Holy Spirit, I have been able to see this book I once thought was crazy and depressing and boring with fresh eyes.

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Sundays are going to be the easy days for this #write31days thing because my pastor does most of the work for me. Seriously, this morning was another great, great service - music, sermon, altar call, the whole package. God was at work in my heart again. Thank You, Lord.

This week the passage was from Mark 1 when Jesus calls Simon Peter and Andrew, James and John to follow Him. I was reminded of the Sunday School song: "I will make you fishers of men, fishers of men, fishers of men, I will make you fishers of men, if you follow Me." A simple song with a powerful message straight from Scripture.

Like my pastor, apparently, I don't have the gift of evangelism. The very few times I've shared the Gospel with someone face to face I've stumbled over my words. My testimony isn't very exciting. I don't have some really clear-cut transformation story to share with people. Which has led me to be timid in my witness and stifle the Spirit when He prompts me to strike up a spiritual conversation.

Sometimes I feel like I ought to memorize all the apologetics arguments and study evangelism methods and practice in front of a mirror or something before I even invite a neighbor over for coffee. Well, tea, since I don't actually have a scrap of coffee in my house. And while it certainly wouldn't hurt to do those things (maybe minus the mirror part), I was reminded this morning that Jesus only tells us to follow Him. When we do, He is the One who will equip us, prepare us, give us words, and make us fishers of men.

The world needs Jesus so, so desperately. It can be overwhelming to think about and cause me to wonder how I could ever put a dent in the problem. But that's me thinking that I am somehow responsible for the fate of the world. I'm just not that powerful. All Jesus calls me to do is follow Him, with an open heart to do what He tells me to do, and He will be the One who enables me. And He will be the One who saves.

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I power-cleaned my house today because I have a few guests coming next week. Unfortunately, I struggle with discipline, a large house and a 6-month-old. The last two items in that list are wonderful gifts from God, but they both require a lot of maintenance, and without discipline, it's a bit of a challenge.

I love having my house freshly cleaned, the stairs thoroughly vacuumed, floors picked up and counters bare. It feels peaceful and fresh. However, due to my undisciplined nature, it doesn't take long for those counters to collect mail and dishes and groceries and all sorts of things and the floors to be spread with baby toys and empty Amazon boxes. My house needs regular cleaning and daily tidying to maintain its status as a haven of rest, but it rarely gets such routine attention.

Jesus talks about the importance of "cleaning house" in Luke 11:24-26:

"When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first."

This is a sobering illustration. I don't feel like I'm equipped to talk about demons tonight, but these truths apply to habitual sin, as well. When we recognize our sin for what it is and sweep it from our hearts and minds but don't take measures to avoid temptation or develop systems to deal with future sin (confess and repent immediately, for example), we are guaranteed to fall right back into those old patterns. We may have a "clean house," but it won't last unless we develop a "cleaning routine" and stick to it.

Perhaps this analogy seems weak to some of you; I bet you don't have much cleaning to do on the regular. ;) However, this is very real to me now, both the cleaning of the house and the cleaning of the heart, and I hope many of you can identify with these words and be urged to develop some systems, hard as they be, to ensure consistency in both areas of your life.

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I just got done hand washing some clothes, among them some brand new LuLaRoe leggings!! (Thanks, honey.) I hand wash them in a bucket of cold water with free and clear detergent and gently squeeze the water out because they are so heavily dyed. Even so, some of the dye comes out in the water, and I have to swap it out for fresh water after every couple of items to make sure the dye doesn't transfer to other items of clothing.

Which made me think, "How do I color the water?" When I am hanging out with others, do I transfer icky dark gray dye (discouragement, tension, pride, insecurity, negativity), or do I transfer lovely deep purple dye (encouragement, peace, humility, other-centeredness, and positivity)?

How do you color the water in your interactions? We all rub off on people to some extent. Let's try, the next time we're on our way to work or church or some other gathering, to pray for the Holy Spirit to bring forth beautiful colors from our spirits as we interact with people. May we be colorful witnesses to the transforming work of Christ.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23

Bonus Question: For the artistic and contemplative among you, what colors come to mind as you read the list of the fruits of the Spirit? Did you learn a certain edible fruit corresponding to a Spiritual fruit as a memory device in Sunday School? I would love to hear about it! :)

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I used to love pumpkin pie - at least my grandma's because she made the buttery, flaky crust from scratch. It was my favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner.

Somehow, though, over the last 5-10 years, my taste for pumpkin and squash-like things has diminished greatly. And while all the other girls are like "give me pumpkin pie spice and everything nice" as we head into autumn, I'm more like, "give me summer and sunshine as long as possible," and, "please, no, not winter again!"

However, I've been thinking today about how nice and calm this fall weather seems. Today was a bit crisp and spicy, like a good Fuji apple. I wore a baggy sweatshirt and yoga pants and just felt cozy. It was good.

While I dread (okay - maybe too strong of a word...) winter's approach, fall is a season that reminds me to rest. Yes, certainly some people's lives pick up pace in the fall with school and programs and commitments, but the early, dark evenings lend themselves much better to a warm cup of something, a fire - inside or out - and allowing life to quietly nestle into place.

Just like we need winter to remind us of our desperate need for God to make all things new (or is that just me?), spring to invigorate us and get us to pursue cultivating life, and summer to fill us with energy and delight in each moment, we need fall to remind us to rest.

I may no longer crave a slice of pumpkin pie, but I'm thankful for these moments to rest in God's presence and just enjoy stillness, observing the blazing beauty around me and thanking Him in whom "we live and move and have our being." (Acts 17:28)

I turned 26 a month ago, so here are 26 things that have brought me joy in the last month.

1) My baby boy learning how to roll from his tummy to his back. I no longer have to reposition him every 10 seconds when he's playing on the floor!

2) My baby belly-laughing at my husband singing N'Sync hits.

3) Rejoining the church orchestra after a 9-month hiatus due to my tummy becoming so large near the end of my pregnancy I couldn't reach around my cello to play. >D

4) Participating in a spiritual retreat with some dear ladies from my church.

5) My amazing Mom going out of her way to care for my son during said retreat.

6) Discovering my new favorite flavor of ice cream: Homemade brand Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup! Yum yum!

7) Enjoying very warm, sunny weather into October in the Northern hemisphere!!

8) A breathtaking hot pink sunset earlier this week.

9) The new sermon series at my church from the Gospel of Mark. I honestly wasn't expecting much going into it... I know all that stuff already. Or so I thought. The Word of God is living and active!

10) My servant-hearted husband cleaning the kitchen for me far too many times this month even though he has a million other things on his plate.

11) My servant-hearted husband caring for our boy while I got a makeover, had lunch with a friend and got a facial all in the last two weeks! I think I've been having too much fun.

12) Trying out some new makeup and having a blast experimenting with eyeshadow. The only sort of painting I'll ever do well.

13) Listening to Motown and being reminded that I need to listen to it a whole lot more because it makes me feel happy. :)

14) Cleaning some carpets and rugs in my house.

15) Purchasing a cart full of organizational supplies - cupboard dividers, tubs, lazy susans, you name it - so I can get some things off my counters and floors and into cupboards and closets.

16) Playing peek-a-boo with baby boo.

17) Having baby boo fall asleep without fussing while I sing to him for the first time ever.

18) Discovering treasures about God's character in Ezekiel. Again, didn't expect much out of the book. God is good.

19) Trying a really yummy new-ish restaurant with my BFF.

20) Walking to the park and swinging on the playground with my boy. Looks like he loves swinging as much as his mama. <3 font=""></3>

21) Starting a new study in our small group that I wasn't excited about but has brought fresh energy to the group and to my desire to grow closer to these dear brothers and sisters in Christ. I think this is a theme in my life right now. :)

22) Reading a really interested missionary biography - Evidence Not Seen - set in a place that reminds me a lot of the Philippines - a country near and dear to my heart since my husband hails from there.

23) Discovering several wonderful podcasts and finally downloading a streaming app so they're more accessible: Cultivating Life with Sally, Cultivating the Lovely, The Homemaking Foundations Podcast, Risen Motherhood, and God Centered Mom Podcast.

24) Being able to fit comfortably into even MORE of my pre-pregnancy clothes!

25) Laughing with my husband about goofy things like strange dance moves I do when I'm happy about something or facial expressions our baby makes or funny YouTube videos.

26) My husband's almost-limitless patience toward my LuLaRoe and Young Living addictions. >D >D >D

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I have been given two gifts: the gift of indecision, and the gift of impulsiveness. Just kidding. They're not gifts, just character flaws. We've all got 'em. Character flaws, that is. But, if you're like me, you have an interesting blend of such flaws.

On the one hand, I am terribly indecisive. Sometimes it's just because I want to be nice and let other people decide, say, on a movie or restaurant. Other times it's because there are just too many great options. My favorite restaurants are the ones that either I've been to so many times I've tried everything on the menu and know what's the most yummy option, or the ones that have very few menu choices so I don't have to agonize over them for too long.

On the other hand, I am incredibly impulsive. In a bad way. So much jumping on bandwagons and getting excited about ideas and starting before I've set my ducks in a row. And it leads to embarrassment down the line because I didn't really know what I was doing/thinking/talking about in the first place. If only there was a way to put all the words back into my mouth.

So, if you can identify in the least with what I just said, read on because I have brilliant advice for you.

STOP.

Take a deep breath, and just stop. Stop before you jump in. Stop before you let your mind get restless turning over all those options. Stop before you commit to something you're going to change your mind about later. Stop before you get in so deep you can't step back without feeling the need to explain yourself to everyone you previously explained yourself to.

Confused? Yes, I know. Ours is a very confusing lot, because we are double-minded. Now bear with me, because it may seem I'm using the following passage a little out of context. I shall explain myself in a bit.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
James 1:2-8

There are a lot of good bits in here. We're talking developing godly character by persevering through trials, seeking wisdom from the Lord, and being unstable because of doubts. Let's work backwards through this passage.

You and I, the impulsive, indecisive ones, experience a lot of doubt. We ask the Lord for wisdom, but our hearts still flutter among the possibilities. The solution? We must believe. Believe that the Lord will follow through on His promise to give generously! Such grace!

Still, why do we lack wisdom in the first place? We have not let perseverance finish its work, because if we had, we would be mature and full of wisdom. Now, none of us children of God are fully mature because the long road of sanctification doesn't end until we reach glory. However, I think some of us are further along in the process. That often comes with age and years of walking with Christ, but I believe persevering through trials expedites the process.

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 1:6-7

What are we impulsive types supposed to make of this? Scripture is clear that experiencing trials is the most effective way to learn patience and perseverance, without which we have a deficit in the wisdom department. None of us desire to suffer, but suffering is inevitable. The amazing thing is that God gives such grace in suffering that we are able to mature and become more like Christ through it.

So for those of us who like to jump into things without considering them well and then overthink things without committing to them, there is hope. We can learn to patiently await the wisdom God promises when we ask Him. And then we will no longer be double-minded or unstable in our decision-making because it will be Spirit-driven and grounded in the rest God graciously provides.

Perseverance leads to wisdom which leads to peaceful certainty. And that's good news for us impulsively indecisive people.

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I don't know what to say when things like the Las Vegas shooting happen. I'm afraid my heart has become callous in an attempt to cope with the onslaught of bad news. Really, really horrible news that comes far too often.

I don't know what to say other than, why am I surprised? Why are we surprised when people commit horrific acts of violence? Why do we think characters like Hitler and Lenin are so rare, when there are smaller Hitlers all over the face of the earth and when you and I have just as much potential to do these things as anyone else?

This thought scares me - I could be that shooter. Were it not for the grace of God, I could just as easily have pulled that trigger.

"But no," some might object. "You had a good upbringing in a loving family. You don't have a psychopathic mental illness. You don't stock up guns. You're not a 'lone wolf'."

Again, I ask, why? Why am I where I am today? Is it because I could control my mind and whatever trauma or hormonal imbalance causes such mental illness? No. Is it because my parents could control every narrative or influence I had access to? No. Is it because I had any say in the relatively affluent, conservative, family-friendly part of the world in which I was born? No.

No one determines into what family or part of the world or belief system they're born. Only Almighty God does that. And by His grace, I am not a shooter.

Humans are not basically good. The Bible describes very accurately the default position of the human heart: "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9, ESV, emphasis mine

Except for Jesus, there go I. This is the Good News - that we do not all have to be bound for wickedness. The first response to the Good News is repentance - recognizing that we are not naturally pure of heart, that we are prone to unjust, unkind behavior, and it is entirely our own fault - not that of society, our family, or anyone else.

"The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!" Mark 1:15

The same Man who spoke those words died the death a mass shooter deserves so that all of us who are inherently prone to such evil can be set free from the path to wickedness and set on the path of abundant, eternal life.

Will you turn away from your hard heart and believe in the only One who can save you from yourself? Please, I beg you, do so before it is too late.

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This post is creatively titled because it dawned on me that it was October 1st and #write31days has begun as I ran between my basement where I was cleaning carpets and my fitfully sleeping child two flights of stairs up multiple times this evening between the hours of 8 and 10 PM.

So here I am. I don't really have a theme this year, as I pretty much decided tonight that I would be doing this, more for therapeutic reasons than any other... why else would one write? October may become a collection of my thoughts on life right now, or it may become a play-by-play of my ever-inching growth in the area of spiritual disciplines, or it may become a commentary on the book of Ezekiel, which I happen to be reading through at the moment, and for which I had very low expectations, and in which God has surprised me many times.

For today, I am basking in the glow of the moving of the Spirit in my heart (and, I believe, many others' hearts) during the service at church this morning. The sermon was on Mark 1 when Jesus tells the Good News of the Kingdom of God and took us through a brief history of how Scripture and all time shows that the King of Kings is truly Lord over all. The kings of this earth will crumble and fall, but our God is victorious! And when we repent and believe that Jesus is Lord, we become citizens of the only Kingdom that will last forever! And He shall reign forever and ever!! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

While the Hallelujah chorus would not have been out of place in the service this morning, we sang Rich Mullins' My Deliverer instead, and Rich Mullins and his fellow Ragamuffin songwriters know how to speak to me. Well, at least, it's quite obvious they knew/know Jesus, and the Holy Spirit has used their music to speak to me. YouTube Rich Mullins Sing Your Praise to the Lord and see if you can keep a smile off your face. Then follow it with We Are Not as Strong as We Think We Are and Screen Door, and for crying out loud, just buy his whole album "Songs". You're welcome.

Back to the service. I just have to say, I am so incredibly thankful to God for my church. It is a big church, but it feels like a small church in all the best ways, and it has a thriving music ministry in which I am happy to be able to serve, and we are committed, committed to the Word of God and prayer. Praise the Lord! May our church leadership and body remain faithful to You, Lord, and may we be bold in our witness to the city in which You've placed us.

I've heard five paragraphs should be enough to communicate a thesis, but since I sort of have two theses for this introductory post, I'm wrapping it up with a sixth. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned, because I pray I will have words much more encouraging and focused in the days to come.

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This familiar hymn has taken on special meaning to me as a new mother. While I've always liked the song, it was never a favorite, perhaps because the tune is so simple.

But in the hours I've spent singing, rocking and praying my little one to sleep over the last few months, this song comes first to mind many nights.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me..." and I want my son to know that. I want him to know that Jesus wants him just as he is.

Jesus wants him to come...

...on days when the little man feels he's been a good boy...

...on days when he is sad for a good reason, or no reason at all...

...on days when he is angry with Mommy or Daddy or a playmate...

...on days when he is angry with God...

...on days when he does well in school...

...on days when he gets a failing grade...

...on days when he knows he did something - or many things - he shouldn't have...

...on days when he has thoughts he's embarrassed to have God see...

...on days he just doesn't feel good enough...

And while I sing these words over him, I sing them to myself. Because God doesn't love me more when I do better. Despite everything I say to myself, God doesn't want me more when I share the Gospel with more people or watch fewer TV shows or read more Christian books or get everything on my to-do list done. He doesn't love me more on those days, and He doesn't love me less on days I'm ashamed of myself.

I can come to Him, just as I am, because He sees Jesus when He looks at me, and Jesus is the Beautiful One, the Shameless One, the Perfect One. I want my son to know that and I need to know that myself.

And I hope you know that you can come to Him just as you are and be loved because of Jesus. All because of Jesus.

Just as I am without one plea
But that Thy blood was shed for me
And that Thou bidst me come to Thee
O Lamb of God, I come
I come

~ Charlotte Elliott

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"So I'm breathing in Your grace and breathing out Your praise..."

We may not always feel like breathing out praise. Yet the very act of crying out to God praises Him because it acknowledges that He is the source where our needs are met. He remembers our frame; He knows that we are dust (Psalm 103:14).

Our song might instead consist of breathing out reminders to ourselves of that very fact: we are weak, but He is strong. "Let it go, my soul, and trust in Him."

I did this very thing a few months ago when I was feeling particularly anxious. I don't even remember the circumstance that unsettled my heart, but I do recall kneeling before the Almighty Calmer of the wind and waves and repeating, "Let it go, my soul," sweeping my hands from my heart out to the edges of my being and into God's grasp, "and trust in Him," reaching to the heavens and inviting His presence into my soul. This exercise was praise, but at the time it merely felt like gasping for air.

Perhaps you don't feel like breathing out praise. Maybe this summer you haven't been obliged to burst out in song to the Creator when you walk out into the sunshine. Instead you've continued to feel the cloud of doubt or worry or depression or fear hang over you as you go from inside to outside or from work to vacation or from alone time to friend time.

I encourage you to let it go, soul. You think you can't. Your situation is too imminent, too desperate. But look at the throne of grace, which we have been given the privilege to approach with boldness (Hebrews 4:15-16). This throne is not too small to handle your letting go and laying down, even if you have to return and let go and lay it down again and again. He is not unable to empathize with our weaknesses.

So gasp for the air that is the grace of God. Reach for His goodness though you grasp in the dark. And whether you are ready to jump for joy in the Lord or collapse with exhaustion from running a hard race, one thing you can be sure of is that you will always, always be breathing in grace.

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Do you ever wonder what sort of things God will allow into your life to help you learn to trust Him?

I do.

See, I've had a nice life. A pretty smooth, easy life. And I like it that way. I like having a great, healthy family and a comfortable living situation. I consider these blessings from the Lord, who loves to give good gifts to His children.

Yet I realize my faith muscles haven't had to be stretched too terribly much over the last 25 years. So, I wonder, what will it take to grow my faith?

I look at the burdens and struggles other people have had and worry that similar things might be waiting just around the corner for me. Do you?

When we fear the process of learning to trust the Lord, we forget that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). God will never allow us to experience something that's too much for us to handle when we're walking with Him (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Another admonishment from Jesus applicable to growing our faith muscles is that we shouldn't borrow trouble from tomorrow (Matthew 6:34). God has us where we are, in the situation we are in, today, for a reason.

Whatever you're going through at this moment, whether a huge mountain of a health crisis or a seeming molehill of a deadline at work, God is using it to teach you to trust Him. Be in the moment, and resist the pull to compare your struggle to another's.

Remember,

   Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
   but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31

Ask the Lord to show you what He wants you to learn in this season, and walk forward one step at a time, holding His hand. Most of all, remember that He never lets go of yours.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.
John 1:14a

"Stop saying 'I'm only human'," admonished the guest preacher at church on Mother's Day. "To be fully human is to be like Christ."

The thought spun me into a whirlwind of Gospel-sized pondering.

In the beginning, God created man in His image. Not long after, man was tempted into eternal separation from the Being in whose image he was made by a fruit that promised a likeness to God, the ability to know good and evil.

Image. Likeness. Life. Death.

Skip over several thousand years of fruits born by the knowledge of good and evil to a human baby born to a simple girl in an unlikely place. The incarnation - fleshly, tangible presence - of God. God became human.

This human - Son of God, Son of man - lived human-ness flawlessly. He alone could balance the knowledge of good and evil with perfect submission and unthinkable humility.

And then, He who became human, suffered and died that we, who forsook the One whose image we bore, could finally be united with God Himself. This, not to be like Him, knowing good and evil, but to know Him and to house His Spirit.

Jesus Christ was the ultimate human. And the Gospel truth is that God redeemed our reaching for glory by a glorious reaching of God to us that we might be transformed into the likeness of Christ - the Glorious One Himself.

There is no "mere human", for we are all image-bearers. And for those that know Christ Jesus and the power of His resurrection, to be human is to be like Christ - glorified in humility, magnified in service to the Creator, whose image we bear.


In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

  Who, being in very nature God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
  rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
  And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!
  Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
    and gave him the name that is above every name,
   that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
   and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:5-11

I'm expecting to give birth to our first child in a few short weeks. From what I've heard, due dates are silly things, but they do help give a sense of structure to a very fluid and indefinable sort of experience.

I cannot explain the joy that my husband and I have. I cannot express the feeling that God has knit together a new human life inside me - a little boy with a soul and a purpose designed by the Almighty since the dawn of time. That God would grant me the blessing of being host to such a miracle leaves me speechless.

When my husband and I found out I was pregnant last July, we knew parenting was part of the picture, but really all we could think about were the tiny hands and toes and nose that would surely be the most perfect combination of the two of us.

We started taking labor and delivery classes and the reality of the pain of childbirth set in, but also the reality of the moment when we would first hold our little gift from God in our arms.

We received a parenting book for Christmas and began thinking about how we would communicate with our little one to best guide him into making right choices.

We began ooh-ing and aah-ing over the miniature clothes gifted to us at baby showers but realized this little one would not be little for long.

Our naivete has yet to be fully replaced by enlightenment, but as we continue stumbling at this incredible pace toward our baby's birth date, we come that much closer to exposing this precious, innocent little one to the cold, hard world outside the womb, a world filled with hate, violence and lies.

What kind of reception is that?

That thought has taken over my heart at times. Why have kids if they're just going to experience pain and heartbreak and disappointment? Is that loving? Is it good to birth yet another child to feed and clothe and try to keep from harm when so many children are lacking the most basic human needs?

The answer is a resounding yes.

Our Creator knew full well what would be the result of our free will before He breathed life into Adam and commanded the first man and his woman to be fruitful and multiply. Yet He made us anyway. He made us so finite beings could share in His infinite love. And what is love without the choice to love? Thus, our will, and our fallen state.

And with that fallen state comes the curse of the pain of childbirth. I'm not sure that babies could have been birthed much differently before the Fall, but in some inconceivable way, the process would not have been painful. No sin, no suffering.

No turning back. Now every woman who has birthed a child - C-section, epidural, water birth, pain meds, med-free, home birth, hospital birth, or on the side of the road - knows there is no possible way to bring a child into the world without pain.

Here's what I learned, however:

A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.
John 16:21

The words of Jesus. It is a joyful thing when a child is born into the world. This truth is written on our hearts, which is why we burst with joy to celebrate the pregnancy and delivery of a child. Not only are children a gift to the world, the world is a gift to children.

Yes, each child will experience pain and the effects of the Fall, of their own free will and the choices of others to varying degrees. We grieve over this rightly. But not every mark of the Creator's hand was lost that day in the Garden. We still see traces and even sweeping brushstrokes of His splendor and beauty all over this earth, from humanity itself as a collective of His image-bearers, to birdsongs rejoicing in their Maker and sunrises declaring His mercies, new every morning.

So I rejoice in bringing my baby boy into this world, knowing that he will see the glory of the Lord in the Creation around him and that he will change the landscape of this world with his innocence and childlike faith. What a gift.

Gotcha!

We're not actually physically moving, at least not that God has told us yet. But last night I was mulling over the parable of the hidden treasure and the parable of the pearl of great price from Matthew 13:44-46 and asking myself



We know for one thing that we can't actually purchase the kingdom of heaven. Salvation comes from faith in the perfect sacrifice of Christ alone, and there is nothing we can do to earn our place in the kingdom (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Yet Jesus compares the kingdom of heaven to treasure and pearls, things of great financial value on earth, things that can be purchased, but only at a very great price.

What does one do with pearls and gold and precious gems?

Perhaps the first use that comes to mind is jewelry. A string of pearls is a lovely accent to a dress, and the exchange of gold rings is a common symbol of unending love at a wedding ceremony. We value these items, but styles of jewelry only last so many years before they're no longer in vogue.

Investments, however, never go out of style. Many people invest in gold and gemstones because there will always be a limited quantity, so they will always have great value. Supply and demand and all. Investments, while still temporal, have a more lasting impact than an item of jewelry. Financial investments can not only enrich your life but your children's and grandchildren's and many others' lives, as well. They multiply if executed wisely.

I absolutely believe God calls every Christian to invest financially in the kingdom of heaven through tithing and giving to the poor and supporting missionaries and ministers of the Gospel. However, while I believe each one of us should hold loosely to the things of earth and acknowledge they are all on loan from the Lord, I don't think God has called all of us to sell all of our material possessions.

Selling everything to invest in the kingdom of heaven always means that we abandon all rights to our time. It is not our time, it is God's, and if we value the kingdom enough, we will be willing to invest every moment of every day in living out the Lord's Prayer:

My house is a mess. I'm a mess. I have a baby coming in March and a million things to do before then. My list of organizational projects is long. My list of new habits to develop is longer. It would be great if I could learn a foreign language before this baby pops out, too.

All of these plans are good. They honor God. He is a God of order and peace, and that's what I'm trying to accomplish. But I'm tackling the problem from the wrong side.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42

I always feel bad for Martha here because she just looks so, well, unspiritual. We always pick on her in sermons and lessons. But she, like Mary, wanted to honor the Lord. She just chose the wrong plan of attack.

We can never really do good things for God unless we seek His face first. And while I believe strongly that being orderly and disciplined honors the Lord, being able to organize our time around the stuff of this earth is second tier. Those things will be taken away.

What can never be taken away, never messed up again, is time in the presence of God. When we pursue Him with our best, our first, our priorities in this world, it is only an investment for the real deal of being in His presence continually for eternity.

You see, Martha was not all wrong. It is good to serve people with food and clean. But Mary had the order of things figured out. She chose to first fill up her soul on Jesus, so she could then serve Him and the others with them.

Time spent with the Lord can never be taken away from us. So as much as my desires to begin meal planning, maintain a cleaning schedule, and develop a writing routine glorify God, none of these things carry the weight of a lifestyle of sitting in God's presence, unhurried and unhindered.

This year, I will choose the better thing.