Photo by Eric Muhr on Unsplash

Death brings life. We've heard it so many times in so many ways. But here we are on the cusp of a new month and the season of Advent, and here I am awaiting my baby's birth, uncertain of what all this newness holds for our lives.

As autumn leaves die in a beautiful burst of color, they fall to the ground, providing rich food for soil and plants to reemerge in spring. But the death-like stalks of winter in between are beautiful in their own way, for without them we wouldn't cherish those few moments of fading beauty each fall, and without them we wouldn't be forced to slow down, stop, and look for hope in every flake of snow and every warming fire's light.

These are the thoughts I had many times this fall as I played outside with my firstborn, relishing each wondrous moment of mother-son joy and love, each day I could see flaming glory on our maple tree before something new and different would replace it.

In a way, the anticipation of my second son's birth holds a dying of the way things were, and I have grieved a bit over this. Please don't misunderstand; I am overjoyed at the thought of welcoming a new sweet baby into my arms. Yet our lives will never be the same, and our lives are so full and beautiful right now, it has been hard to imagine something different.

Like the change of seasons, or the death of Mary's reputation and normalcy, grief is a stretching and preparation in itself for new life and new joy and new hope never before fathomed.

Mary was willing; we know that. But we can only imagine how much she wrestled with her flesh in the desire to have things stay the same and comfortable and happy. Instead she was given the opportunity to die to her old life and grieve over what was and take on something so magnificent that not only her body but her very soul would be transformed.

As Advent begins, I think of the hush and waiting and darkness of winter. There was so much death leading up to and surrounding the birth of Jesus Christ, most of his contemporaries didn't even notice His entrance because they were caught up in their own grief. They expected something (someone) huge and glamorous to be their rescue, something in step with what they were used to and the stories they had ingrained in their hopes for generations.

Yet Mary's death to self allowed her to give life to the Light of the World. Jesus' death to self defined His entire life on earth and gave Life to all who would call on His name, die to themselves and live a life they never could have conceived.

Death produces grief, and grief produces healing and a new Life we can only imagine. I pray that your grief this season, whatever it may be, would lead to a hope and joy you never thought possible.

And Mary said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord
     and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
 for he has been mindful
    of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
     for the Mighty One has done great things for me—

    holy is his name.

Luke 1:46-49

There is a tension in which followers of Jesus must always live. We must seek first the kingdom of heaven. And we must work with diligence and excellence at whatever sort of labor God has given us to do. This means our minds and hearts are constantly pulled both upward and outward, and it is a very stretching place to be.

Lately I've felt this tension strongly. I so want to be a woman characterized by discipline and effectiveness in my work. I know this pleases the Lord. Yet almost as soon as I begin striving in any area, I sense my heart being pulled further from His. The insecurities and pride arise, and I feel myself less grounded and more self-centered. And that's not where I want to be.

I know I'm called to be a woman after the heart of God, and I know I'm called to be in this world and working hard as unto the Lord at whatever my hand finds to do. So how do I live well in this tension?

Psalm 23. I have so often overlooked this Psalm because it seemed like a child's verse, something to memorize in Sunday school because it's short and sweet. Lately, though, my weary heart has been drawn toward it for my own edification.

These six verses show me that the Lord, my gentle Shepherd, is guiding me, even prodding me perhaps, toward living in the center of His will, toward Kingdom come. Toward eternity. At the same time, He knows this life contains seasons sadness, fear, distraction and weariness, and He promises that He won't let me off the path in spite of these oppositions.

The final verse assures me that He will never stop pursuing me, and the end is that I will be united with Him forever.

No matter how many times I wander off the path. No matter how many times I stumble. No matter how many times I become sick with fear or lost in confusion. He is my Shepherd, and He keeps me.

I may still feel stretched or pushed out of my comfort zone. I may still question my motives and His purposes. But I will never be left to figure it out on my own.

May you be refreshed by this Psalm and remember the truth that you are not perfect and never will be, but Jesus was the perfect sacrificial Lamb, and by His blood, we are made perfect always in the eyes of God.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
 Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.
 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

Image copyright 2018 by Faith Ganchua

Since the end of March when I found out I was pregnant with my second baby, I have spent a lot of time longing for him to come.

Though I don't have nearly as much time to dwell on the thought of this child as I did while pregnant with my first, ever since I began to really feel pregnant (especially in this third trimester), I've been inventing scenarios in my head, imagining what he will look like and how his personality will be unique and how he and his big brother will interact.

I've been writing lists of projects to complete before his birth to make the postpartum period and transition to a family of four as peaceful as possible. And I've been falling more and more in love with him, even though I haven't really seen him or touched him yet (you could make a case for ultrasound pics and the fact that he's literally surrounded by my body, but we're going to set that aside and go with - ya know what I mean).

Every day is full of thoughts of my precious unborn child and how I can best prepare for his coming. Every night is full of too many projects and not enough sleep because I want so badly to make his entrance to the world just right. And every morning is full of the little aches and pains that serve as reminders that my entire body is growing and stretching to accommodate his place in our lives.

The other day I was playing outside with my firstborn son, enjoying the crisp-but-not-too-cold Midwest fall air. I looked up when I felt a sudden warmth, and beyond the cinnamon-colored leaves of our Maple tree, I saw the late afternoon autumn sun bursting through clouds. It took my breath away, and all I could think of for a moment was the beauty of my Savior.

And then I wondered, what would it be like if I longed for Jesus' return as much as I long for my son to be born? Surely I would devote more time to studying everything I could about Him, getting to know Him more, and growing in my relationship with Him. I would prepare my home as much as I could to serve others in His name. Only the Father knows the day or the hour when Jesus will come, but if I knew, I would certainly count down the days, just like I know, as I write this, that I have 37 days until my little prince is full term.

All I talk about these days is my pregnancy and what I hope for regarding the birth and introduction of my son to our family. But if I longed for Jesus that much, I would talk incessantly about how much I love Him and can't wait to meet Him face to face.

God is gracious and knows that in our present condition we are torn between the temporal and the eternal, and there are practical things we need to think about and plan for such as caring for our families and eating and sleeping. Yet, the Lord's Prayer tells us to pray that God's will be done on earth as it is in heaven, showing us that His Kingdom has a place in the here and now. Just like us, God (in Jesus) is both physical and spiritual, and we can long for Him with all our hearts at the same time we take care of "earthly business."

May we desire His Kingdom to come and His will to be done and long to meet Him face to face with the same all-consuming passion that drives us to anticipate the arrival of a dear friend or a new baby.

Photo by Liana Mikah on Unsplash

Note: This isn't my typical "devotional" blog post, but since I believe God is part of every area of my life and this is the stage of life I am currently in, I have decided to incorporate a post once in a while on motherhood/marriage/homemaking topics. Please enjoy if this is relevant to you, and if not, I will continue writing meditations on the Word as well, so keep checking back!

[Almost] 34 weeks down, six to go, and I am so excited to meet my second son. My first is still pretty much a baby at 18 months, but there's something extra squishy and special I miss about the newborn stage. I don't miss the sleeplessness, or the crazy hormones, or the stress of getting behind on laundry and dishes... but I am determined to set up my family and myself for success as we transition into a family of four.

Success means different things to different people, but for me, I have no expectations of endlessly peaceful snuggling, no crying, 3 square meals with nutritious snacks in between, a newborn who sleeps through the night by 2 weeks and has no need to cluster feed, or a toddler who experiences no confusion or jealousy at the sight of Mommy constantly holding another tiny human instead of him {insert Mama tears here}.

Photo by li tzuni on Unsplash

Instead, I have hopeful anticipation of the God who designed families and gifted us these two precious boys and ordained the timing of our restaurant opening (that's an entirely different story) and Little One's birth so near each other and knows that I often struggle with winter blues - that same God will be walking with us every step of the way. He will be present when we're getting no sleep whatsoever; He sacrificed more than one night of sleep in His time on earth on our behalf. He will be present when I'm overwhelmed with emotion because I can't be everything to both my babies; He has wept. He will be present when I cannot deal with the piles of dishes or laundry or crumbs or screaming and begin sinking; He calms storms with the beautiful sound of His voice.

So these are the truths I'm meditating on and the Rock on which I place my hope. And I also prepare in physical ways because He has given me the ability to do so.

Photo by Alyson McPhee on Unsplash

1) Meal Prep

Feeding my family is a gift. It is a privilege. It is not my favorite part of my role, but it is a necessity and a blessing for my husband and children. So to help ensure we won't be scrounging veggie straws and string cheese for every meal, I am prepping double batches of two different freezer meals each week leading up to the birth, as well as a batch of a protein-rich breakfast food. This should give me 4-6 weeks of breakfasts and dinners to take a cooking load off the newborn phase. All I will have to do is remember to thaw them out in time.

People, I do not enjoy cooking much at all, so this plan will take a lot of discipline for me, but I feel empowered after listening to Episode #37 of the Titus 2 Minute with Jami Balmet: Freezer Cooking to Save Your Sanity. I highly recommend this episode, along with the recipes she links to in her show notes, as well as the podcast.

2) Home Projects

This one is getting more and more challenging as I am not quite as agile as I was a few months ago and my midwife doesn't want me lifting heavy objects, but... here is my list.

First, I am prepping my oldest son's Big Boy Room so he can begin sleeping there for at least a month before the baby comes and get used to it. I am not putting pressure on myself to have it completely decorated and Pinterest-ready before the due date, but he will have a crib, an organized dresser and closet, and curtains at the very least. Decor can come bit by bit over the next several months.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Second, I am prepping the nursery for my new son's arrival. Before my first was born, I wanted to have a neutral nursery so I didn't have to change it for each baby. I went with a Beatrix Potter theme, and as sweet as it is, I am now feeling like I don't want this boy to just have Big Brother's leftovers for everything, so I am changing it up a little to make it unique to Little One. I am keeping the decor changes very simple and inexpensive, so the wall color, crib, changing table, and glider can remain as they are. I do have quite a bit of organizing to do in the nursery closet, so I am referring to Pinterest for help with that.

Third, I am transitioning a strange little room between my kitchen and dining room into a play room. The reason is that it has a pocket door on the opposite side I can pull shut and lock to prevent escaping, and then I can place a baby gate in the doorway nearest the kitchen so I can still easily hear and see what is happening in there while I cook or do dishes. This will help contain some mess and I hope keep my older son interested for a longer period of time as opposed to wandering through the living room with crumby snacks or pulling at my legs while I'm trying to place something in the hot oven.

This project, however, requires listing and selling two large pieces of furniture and painting (the walls are currently a pale pink - the room was originally intended to be my "office"). This seems like a bite too big to chew in the last few remaining weeks of pregnancy, but I believe it will improve our quality of life, especially once the baby comes, so I am motivated to take it on. I'm grateful to have family in town who are willing to help with these sorts of things.

Fourth, I want to clean my furniture and carpets. My toddler and newborn will both spend a LOT of time very close to the floor. We have a Bissell carpet cleaner that is very user-friendly, which makes cleaning the carpets quick and easy.

3) Self-Care

I am scheduling fewer and fewer activities and get-togethers these last few weeks because, as much as I love my friends, they will still be there after the baby comes, but I will not get these last precious weeks with my only son back. This is a form of self-care because it is an aspect of expecting Baby #2 that has caused a lot of mixed emotions for me. I've always wanted to have lots of babies: in high school I wanted 10, but I've scaled back a little on that over the years to where I think 4 sounds perfect. Of course my husband and I are open to what God wants our family to look like, but no matter how many kids I'd like to have, there is something so bittersweet about giving up that undivided, one-on-one time with my firstborn. Golly, I'm tearing up about it as I type this.

Photo by Anna Kolosyuk on Unsplash

Someone told me this ache in my heart about the prospect of not being able to give him the same amount of attention is the physical manifestation of God stretching my Mama heart to make room for two precious babies. I love that image, so I have held it close. I have also held onto the fact that millions of mamas have gone through this process and come out the other side completely in love with two (or three or ten) children.

That is more of the emotional self-care, but for physical care, I am preparing some DIY creams, salves and sprays for postpartum care. Any woman who has given birth knows how many care products are helpful for healing in those first few weeks. There are several recipes I have that incorporate essential oils into plant-derived carrier oils, which I believe are incredibly supportive to the body's natural healing processes and are safe and effective to use on myself and my newborn, even while breastfeeding. I'm excited to prepare these and have them labeled and ready-to-go for after the birth.

Leading up to the birth, I will be walking and stretching every day, adding in a strength or yoga routine 3-4 days a week. I will also get a haircut and a mani-pedi so I feel as lovely as possible going into a season of infrequent showering or styling.

Self-care, especially when it comes to spending money on things to enhance external beauty, is a sticky topic among Christians. However, I believe that when a woman cares for her appearance enough to feel clean and confident, she is better able to direct her attention away from herself (insecurity) and onto the needs and concerns of others. Also, it is just plain practical to take care of our bodies because they're the vessel through which we minister the love of Christ to others.

4) Prep for Labor

Before my first son was born, my husband and I attended 12 weeks of birth classes at the home of a certified Bradley Method Birth instructor. It was such a valuable time for us, and it helped me feel incredibly confident about what actually happens in my body during pregnancy, labor and delivery, and the postpartum/breastfeeding period. I had also decided long ago that I wanted to give birth without an epidural or spinal block, partly because they terrify me and partly because I wanted to experience childbirth with as little unnecessary medical intervention as possible. The Bradley Method Birth classes empowered me to do just that.

I did end up needing to be induced at 41 weeks 5 days due to hospital insurance policies, and looking back I know that was the right decision for both my son's and my health. Even though I received pitocin intravenously, and that was not part of my ideal birth plan, I was able to give birth without any pain medication, thanks to the strength and peace God provided and the skilled coaching and loving support of my husband and mom.

I know I can do it again this time, but since we are not going through the classes again, my husband and I have to be much more intentional about scheduling time to review our class materials and practice the labor techniques. I am also creating a playlist of worship music and just generally happy or calming music for labor as well as a list of Scripture and positive affirmations I can speak to myself and that my husband can speak over me when I feel discouraged.

Finally, I am adding a lot of emotion-supporting oils to my hospital bag because they have been such a help to me throughout the postpartum period with my firstborn and during pregnancy. Our sense of smell is directly connected to the emotional center of our brains, so certain blends of essential oils have the power to access feelings that might otherwise remain hidden or unidentified. Giving birth is a deeply emotional process, no matter how it is done, so supporting emotions with Scripture, through the love of family, and by physical means such as essential oils is critical to the laboring mother.

If you made it this far, you either are pregnant, have been pregnant, or want to be pregnant, so good for you! Thanks for reading my thoughts and plans, and I hope they were a little bit encouraging to you.

Photo by Fischer Twins on Unsplash

This month has been one of great humbling for me. I don't like to be humbled; no one does. It's uncomfortable, and it goes against all natural "instincts" (a.k.a. sin nature).

Our natural response in times of humbling is to defend ourselves. We want to blame a failure or at least shortcoming on someone or something out of our control. Sometimes that may very well be the case, but often the fact is that we are just people who make mistakes and sin.

Or we had every good intention and kindness of heart behind something we did or said... perhaps even felt led by the Holy Spirit to do so... and it was received poorly. A friend or family member became angry with us or an awkward wedge was driven into a formerly uncomplicated relationship. It leads us to want to explain ourselves and do what we can to justify our words and actions in their eyes, but doing so would only lead to a greater rift.

These are the ways we approach such situations apart from the grace of God. But we who are in Christ are to come under His Lordship and submit to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, even when it puts us at a "disadvantage" in the perspective of the world. It's oh-so-difficult, but oh-so-worth-it.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus told us the godly response to being taken advantage of or insulted is to "turn the other cheek" (Matthew 5:39). This is another example of how upside-down the Kingdom of God is relative to the world's advice and ideas about success. We are told that those who humble themselves before the Lord will be lifted up (James 4:10) and to not think of ourselves more highly than we ought (Romans 12:3).

Scripture is full of examples of humility being rewarded, and those who choose to serve others and set their ego aside are honored by the Lord Himself. And how much more rewarding is the favor of God Almighty, the One who Himself gave His life for us, than the fickle opinion of man?

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After reading the book Adorned by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth this summer with a group of wise, godly and inspiring women, I got stuck on the idea of a "sound mind" as it was explained in the study.

Adorned has an entire chapter devoted to the Greek word sophron, which essentially means "sound mind". This comes from a word in Titus 2 that is often translated "self-control", but it's so much more than that. In order to practice self-control, we must have a sound mind - or a healthy, whole, saved mind - one that is governed by the Holy Spirit instead of the whims of our emotions and circumstances.

This concept has been life-changing for me since the Lord arranged for me to lead the discussion the week this chapter came up. When I volunteered to facilitate the study, I did not look ahead to see which chapters were on the docket; I simply chose a date that worked in my schedule. As I began reading the chapters to prepare for the study, I once again stood in awe of God's grace in my life and His sense of humor.

Being of sound mind is not easy for anyone, but it has certainly never been my personal strength. I have often lamented the great struggle I've had through life to grow in self-control, or to simply feel like I have displayed this fruit of the Spirit whatsoever.

However, since becoming a mother, I've noticed how the process of sanctification is intensified. Sleepless nights filled with crying from an unsatisfied baby and instances of poor communication with well-meaning spouses are a fast track to either holiness or selfishness.

As I prepared to lead the discussion on sophron, the Lord brought to mind Romans 8, which holds my current season's life verse, one I have mulled over repeatedly as I reflect on my choices from the previous day.



I have come to know how real this is over the summer as I've begun swapping out TV shows for podcasts centered on the Gospel and Christ-glorifying music while doing housework, spending just a little more time in the Word, and choosing more often to turn first to the Lord in prayer instead of to my non-savior of a husband (wonderful as he is).

I don't always set my mind on things above, and I still have to ask the Lord and my husband (and quite a few others) for forgiveness on the regular, but I am so, so grateful for the life-giving presence of the Lord as I go throughout my day, knowing I can choose in any moment to seek first His kingdom instead of my own.

I want to be characterized by a sound mind and live at peace with God and myself under the control of the Spirit. Praise God that He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ and that we have the choice to live well and whole in Him. May you grow in self-control and be whole in your spirit and sound of mind.

Photo by Jordan Wozniak on Unsplash

Photo ©Faith Ganchua, 2018, A Radiant Face

My son is only a year old, but ever since I found out I was pregnant with him, I knew I wanted to be intentional about communicating the Gospel to him. More than anything else, my desire for him (and his coming-soon little brother) is that he come to know, love and follow Jesus his whole life long. That is the hope I speak over him every night as I place him in his crib, after reading, after singing, after turning out the light. That is the mission of my motherhood.

Because I know this is the heartbeat of every Christ-following mother, I want to share five ways I have connected with my son spiritually to begin writing these truths on his heart. I don't share these because I think they're the best ways or the only ways, and certainly not because I have been perfectly faithful in practicing them. Instead, I want to offer some simple suggestions in case you feel at a loss for how to share the Gospel with your children. Perhaps these ideas will springboard some of your own rhythms of faith in your home.

Also, keep in mind that I have a little toddler who can barely say five words, so I don't have any solid means of measuring what he's absorbing from my efforts. Your kids might be older, but I think several of these points can apply to them, as well as to babies and toddlers.

Here they are, in no particular order:

One - Talk to them about Jesus and God's truth and the Gospel whenever it comes up.

Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

My son may have no idea what I'm saying, but I speak what's on my heart, and I believe the Holy Spirit can translate for me. Sometimes I try to slow down and make eye contact, but often I just talk as we're going about our business - eating breakfast, walking outside, driving in the car. These moments come up as I am awestruck by the beauty of God's creation while we're exploring the backyard, and I'll begin talking about some attribute of God that the sky or the wind or the flowers remind me of.

If I'm reading my Bible or a Christian non-fiction book in the living room while he minds his own business playing on the floor, I might suddenly look up and say, "Buddy, this is so amazing!" and launch into an explanation of what I just read and how it informs the way I view God.

Another way to really drive home the point of why we need Jesus is to take moments of our own sin and be quick to humble ourselves before the Lord and our children. We can use these times of personal weakness to remind our kids that we all fall short of God's glory, and that is why Jesus needed to die and why we need the Holy Spirit in our hearts to help us do what God wants.

While he was still in my womb, I shared the Gospel with him, as well. It felt a bit awkward to be explaining the ABCs of Salvation to someone I couldn't see, but the Bible tells us that the Lord teaches wisdom to babies even before they're born (Psalm 51:6), so I figured I could begin sharing truth with him even then.

Two - Play Scripture and worship songs frequently throughout the day.

Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash

Almost every morning while I'm making and eating breakfast with my son, I play the "Kid's Worship" station on Pandora from my phone. I've refined it so it plays a lot of classic Sunday School songs, Scripture songs and a bit of Veggie Tales. I love to begin our day on that joyful, centering note.

When my son was littler, his favorite calming music to fall asleep to was Matt and Josie Minikus' Hymns, Psalms and Lullabies album. It is absolutely beautiful music and includes several lyrics directly from Scripture.

Three - Read the Bible together.

Photo by Samantha Sophia on Unsplash

My son used to sit in my lap for an entire Jesus Storybook Bible chapter, but that happens less and less frequently these days. Now I usually end up reading something from a children's Bible storybook, a Psalm or a passage from the Gospels out loud as he's roaming around the living room.

At first I was concerned that he wouldn't absorb much this way, but after hearing some advice from more experienced mothers, podcasts, etc. I realized that busy toddlers and active little boys, specifically, actually learn better while they're moving. It may not seem like he's paying attention, but I know the Word of God does not return void, so I will continue to speak it out loud in his hearing.

Four - Sing hymns and Scripture songs to them before bed.

Photo by Louis Smith on Unsplash

For the longest time, I would sing the same three songs to my son as part of his bedtime routine - the hymn, Just as I Am, some version of the Aaronic blessing (The Lord bless you and keep you...) and the chorus of Twila Paris' lullaby, "I pray that you will follow Him your whole life long." I change up the hymns more now for variety, but I still see Just as I Am as his special hymn.

I love so many modern worship songs, and my millennial heart resonates with them and enjoys listening to them throughout the day. However, there is something so rich and precious about older hymns that I want to pass on to my children. I'm so thankful for the time I spent at a church that sang only hymns every week because, while I no longer think that's the "right" or "only" way to worship God in spirit and truth, I learned so many hymns by memory. As I sing these hymns over my son now, I am blessed by the rich theology contained in them that is difficult to communicate in such a succinct and profound way with our modern language.

Five - Pray together.

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

This is one area in particular I would like to grow in, but I think praying together with kids is beneficial no matter what age they are. Of course we can pray over our children, and we should, but there is something special about praying together for things on our hearts in addition to the needs of others. My son is still too young to understand closing his eyes and being still while we pray, but if he's sleepy enough at bedtime, I have a captive prayer companion as I rock him. I will begin thanking God for the day and praying for our concerns in first person plural, as if he's praying right along with me.

I want to demonstrate to my children that prayer is a normal part of my life individually and of our lives together as a family. I believe the more frequent and natural these practices are in our daily rhythm, the more they will begin to adopt those things as they become independent.

These are the five main things I do as the mommy of a (currently) 16-month-old boy and his little brother in utero. I hope they are an encouragement and a springboard for you as you seek to impress God's truth on your little ones' hearts. Remember that God is with us as we share the Gospel with our children. He desires their hearts to come to salvation even more than we do!

I would love to hear which of these practices you are currently implementing or would like to implement in your home. And if you have any other ideas for how to connect with kids spiritually, please share them in the comments for the rest of us to learn!

The hymn, I Surrender All, is a great sermon-closer, and it has been used as such many times at my church. It has a singable tune and meaningful lyrics that cause one to really think them through as they're sung.

I usually have a hard time singing this one with gusto because I have to evaluate my heart each time I hear it: do I really surrender all, and if not, am I ready to?

There have been moments when I've simply closed my mouth and my eyes, praying through the song that the Lord would soften my heart to surrender because I knew I wasn't ready. I knew there were habits and idols I didn't want to lay down, and I didn't feel right singing that I was surrendering all when in my heart I was not.

The most recent time we sang this hymn, however, I did join in with my voice for the entire song, and I even lifted my hands as if to say, "Here is my life, Lord. I surrender all."

This occasion was no different than the others; I am well aware of how prone to wander is my heart, how quickly I retract my sincerest devotions and commitments to the Lord for the sake of ease and self-service.

Yet this time I sensed the fullness of Christ's grace toward me, and how His sacrifice covers my broken vows and my failure to always place Him first in my heart.

In Romans 7, Paul laments the fact that, though his desire is to obey God's law, his sinful nature battles against his spirit and often wins. This is not because the Holy Spirit isn't powerful within us but because we will not reach perfection until we see Christ face to face. In the meantime, we fight against the flesh to choose what is honoring to the Lord, and we often win, but sometimes we lose. This is the angst we face as redeemed people confined temporarily in a world still full of sin.

But Paul ends the chapter this way:

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Paul acknowledges that he will always struggle against sin in this life, but he rejoices that Christ's sacrifice is enough to deliver him and cover him with grace!

Friends, the Lord knows our hearts. He knows we long to glorify Him with our lives, and He knows that we are weakened by our flesh. He knows we want to obey, to surrender all, but He knows we will always struggle to do so.

That is why we can say to Him, "I surrender all," knowing that while we are guaranteed to fail, His grace is sufficient for us, and He is pleased with us.

all photos from Unsplash.com

I struggle with bad attitudes frequently. I really like things to go my way, meet my expectations and cater to my needs and wants. And I begin to feel the crankiness meter rising as soon as they don't.

When things don't go my way, I can be not the nicest person. Maybe I don't lash out and yell, but I have definitely turned to grumbling, casting dirty looks, or determining to show how miserable I am to everyone else so they feel uncomfortable. Super immature, I know.

not my kid, but still stinkin' cute

Some may equate this with the behavior of their two-year-old, but the truth is, we are all born with a sinful nature. Our internal bent is to look out for ourselves first and do everything we can to fulfill our desires.

Scripture tells us that, "those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires." (Romans 8:5)

Until we come to trust in Christ for our salvation and are given the Holy Spirit as our guide in living a holy, set apart life for the glory of God, all of us live according to the flesh. However, in Christ we do have the guarantee of the Spirit, and as soon as we place our faith in Him, He begins sanctifying us, transforming us daily so that we look more and more like Christ.

Let me pause a moment and say, Thank You, Jesus!

And then let me say, even while living under Jesus' Lordship, it is hard to choose to respond to people and circumstances with kindness and patience.

Because of this, I want to offer some practical tips for living out kindness in our daily lives because this fruit of the Spirit really does set us apart and makes Christ look attractive to the world.

And as I am sharing these, know that the reason I do so is not because I have achieved perfect kindness or mastered how to handle these situations. Far from it! Like I said right at the get-go, this is a frequent struggle for me. But I have been asking the Lord to refine this area of my character, and I've been doing a lot of study in Scripture and elsewhere on how to live out kindness.



Our emotions and reactions are impacted greatly by our physical state, both our general health, and more temporary conditions like hunger and thirst. Most of us have control over what we eat and drink and whether we exercise, and these are just some of the ways that we can set our physical bodies up for success so they don't affect our moods as much.

Exercise: Exercising plays a huge role in regulating our hormones, which in turn affect our emotions. When we exercise regularly, whether that's an evening walk around the block or a Crossfit class before work, we help activate the happy hormones in our bodies. There are so many other benefits to exercise, but this is not a post devoted to overall health, so I'll keep it short and sweet.

Eating Sensible Food: This is a really sensitive area for a lot of people who struggle with eating disorders and addictions. I myself have struggled with food addictions in the past, and it is so hard to break bad habits. Again, this post is not meant to give guidance on how much or what to eat specifically. That is up to you to determine with your doctor, a nutritionist and the Lord. But I know from personal experience that I feel so much better when I eat more "clean" whole foods. Choosing home cooked meals over fast food more often, fresh fruits over sugary desserts and veggies over salty snacks nourishes my body and keeps my mind clear, which sets me up to have a better attitude throughout the day.

Drinking Water: Our bodies are made up of a whole lotta water, so it makes sense to keep the water flowing through to feel our best. When I get dehydrated, I get cranky real fast, so I try to keep a full bottle of water on hand at all times so I can drink as I feel thirsty and make sure dehydration doesn't get in the way of my attitude. Also, there is no other drink (no matter how it's marketed) that will hydrate our bodies as effectively as water.

Sleep: Getting a full night of sleep (7-9 hours depending on what your specific needs are) has a huge affect on our moods. Lack of sleep affects our brains negatively, impairing our ability to respond to situations with self-control.





Calendar and To-Do List: Keeping a calendar and to-do list helps declutter our minds of our schedules and tasks so we can free a little extra mental space. I'm not sure how scientific that last statement is, but I know it's true for me. And with as many professional organizers and bloggers are out there talking about eliminating mental clutter, I'm inclined to believe it's true for many people. When our minds are bogged down by lists and ideas and errands and all the things, it's hard to be in the moment and focus our attention on showing kindness toward others.

Journal: This is a habit I need to re-establish. I have at least 20 journals I filled up between the ages of 9 and 23, but since I got married I haven't kept up the journaling habit. Journaling, like keeping a calendar and to-do list helps free up mental space. It also helps to process thoughts, emotions and experiences from the day and think through what we did well and what we could improve.



Thank God again for the gift of the Holy Spirit! Last night I was singing a song to my son before bed that talks about how I am one with Christ. The Holy Spirit of God lives in me! It filled me with awe and wonder once again, and most of all, gratefulness at the kindness of God toward me and all who believe in Jesus!

That being said, what do we do when circumstances don't allow us to exercise, eat clean, drink water, journal or keep a calendar? Certainly we have control over these areas of our lives most of the time. But there are times when we can't attend to all of these things, which leaves our physical and mental selves in a compromised state. How do we choose kindness then?

We can choose kindness in every circumstance, no matter how we feel, because of the Spirit of God living inside us and guiding us toward righteousness. This is the resource Christians have that no one else can tap into. We have access to the Highest Power in the universe, and that should make us fall to our knees with gratefulness. Holy, holy is the Lord, and how great is His love for us!

Without the Holy Spirit, we would be left to "white knuckle" it, and all our striving toward displaying the fruit of the Spirit would be in vain. The Bible says that apart from Christ, all our righteousness is as filthy rags. Worthless. No matter how ship-shape we keep ourselves mentally and physically, nothing and no one can help us live up to God's standard of kindness other than the Holy Spirit. And without Him, we cannot make Christ look beautiful to the world.

Earlier I mentioned Romans 8:5 and how it talks about minds controlled by the flesh. But there's always good news on the other side of bad news in the Bible, because the Good Book is all about how God redeems every single thing that has gone wrong because of man's sinful choices.

So here's the whole verse: "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires."

Yes! There it is! But still, how do we live in accordance with the Spirit? What does that even mean?

I believe verse 6 is the key to unlocking this promise: "The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace."

Oh, to have a mind governed by the Spirit of the Living God! As I've been studying and praying on kindness over the last while, this verse has become a precious treasure. I hold it close and remind myself of it when I am tempted to lash out or spiral into grumpiness.

When we surrender our lives to Christ, we submit to His Lordship over us. This isn't easy because we still battle our flesh and our desire to always be in control, but it is made easier knowing what a good, kind Master we serve.


The same is true of the Holy Spirit. We can suppress His voice as He convicts us and urges us to walk in righteousness. I certainly have. Or we can position ourselves to listen to Him and place ourselves humbly under His guidance because He is a gentle leader, and we live most blessed within the parameters of His governance.

And here is my "practical Spiritual tip" to have a mind governed by the Spirit: Saturate yourself in the Word and worship of God. The more our minds are filled with His truth and loveliness, the more we recognize His voice, and the stronger our desire will be to be quick to obey and quick to show kindness, even when our flesh desires otherwise.

Photo by Cullan Smith on Unsplash

I've taken to analyzing the worship music we sing at church - not criticizing, but thinking through the meaning of the words I'm singing. It makes for a much more engaging experience of praising my Lord.

A theme I've noticed in several songs written in the last five years or so is inviting God's presence by calling down fire from heaven. "Fire fall down," "All-consuming fire, fall, fall down," and the like. And while it is so important to invite God's presence to a worship gathering, I've never stopped to think before what a dangerous thing we are singing.

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire."
Hebrews 12:28-29

Our God is holy, completely set apart and on a different plain from us in His glory and perfection. He will not tolerate sin, and that is why Christ shed His righteous blood on our behalf, so when the Father looks at us, He sees the holiness of Jesus.

Yet He is still a consuming fire.

When we invite God's holy, jealous fire to enter our sanctuary (or living room, or car, or wherever we're singing), are we doing so with clean hands and pure hearts? Do we recognize that as we sing these songs, we invite the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to convict our hearts of sin and pierce our souls with truth?

In our modern Gospel-telling, we focus so much on God's grace and mercy that we can forget that He is not only worthy of our perfect obedience, but demands our holiness. Otherwise why would Jesus have had to die?

God is good, but the reason God is so good is because He is holy and because He has made a way for us to enter His presence without being consumed. Thank You, Jesus!

Let us remember as we talk to God and sing to God and live for God that it is only by salvation through Jesus that we are no longer afraid of His wrath, and let us worship Him with awe and reverence because He is so different from us and so truly awesome!