I cannot explain the joy that my husband and I have. I cannot express the feeling that God has knit together a new human life inside me - a little boy with a soul and a purpose designed by the Almighty since the dawn of time. That God would grant me the blessing of being host to such a miracle leaves me speechless.
When my husband and I found out I was pregnant last July, we knew parenting was part of the picture, but really all we could think about were the tiny hands and toes and nose that would surely be the most perfect combination of the two of us.
We started taking labor and delivery classes and the reality of the pain of childbirth set in, but also the reality of the moment when we would first hold our little gift from God in our arms.
We received a parenting book for Christmas and began thinking about how we would communicate with our little one to best guide him into making right choices.
We began ooh-ing and aah-ing over the miniature clothes gifted to us at baby showers but realized this little one would not be little for long.
Our naivete has yet to be fully replaced by enlightenment, but as we continue stumbling at this incredible pace toward our baby's birth date, we come that much closer to exposing this precious, innocent little one to the cold, hard world outside the womb, a world filled with hate, violence and lies.
What kind of reception is that?
That thought has taken over my heart at times. Why have kids if they're just going to experience pain and heartbreak and disappointment? Is that loving? Is it good to birth yet another child to feed and clothe and try to keep from harm when so many children are lacking the most basic human needs?
The answer is a resounding yes.
Our Creator knew full well what would be the result of our free will before He breathed life into Adam and commanded the first man and his woman to be fruitful and multiply. Yet He made us anyway. He made us so finite beings could share in His infinite love. And what is love without the choice to love? Thus, our will, and our fallen state.
And with that fallen state comes the curse of the pain of childbirth. I'm not sure that babies could have been birthed much differently before the Fall, but in some inconceivable way, the process would not have been painful. No sin, no suffering.
No turning back. Now every woman who has birthed a child - C-section, epidural, water birth, pain meds, med-free, home birth, hospital birth, or on the side of the road - knows there is no possible way to bring a child into the world without pain.
Here's what I learned, however:
A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.
John 16:21
The words of Jesus. It is a joyful thing when a child is born into the world. This truth is written on our hearts, which is why we burst with joy to celebrate the pregnancy and delivery of a child. Not only are children a gift to the world, the world is a gift to children.
Yes, each child will experience pain and the effects of the Fall, of their own free will and the choices of others to varying degrees. We grieve over this rightly. But not every mark of the Creator's hand was lost that day in the Garden. We still see traces and even sweeping brushstrokes of His splendor and beauty all over this earth, from humanity itself as a collective of His image-bearers, to birdsongs rejoicing in their Maker and sunrises declaring His mercies, new every morning.
So I rejoice in bringing my baby boy into this world, knowing that he will see the glory of the Lord in the Creation around him and that he will change the landscape of this world with his innocence and childlike faith. What a gift.
